Undocumented Workers at Meatpacking Plant Thrown in Jail, Hot Dog Eating Contest Called Off

June 1st, 2008- Waterloo, Iowa: In temporary courtrooms at a fairground in Waterloo, 260 illegal immigrants were sentenced to five months in prison for working at a meatpacking plant with false documents. The convicted immigrants were among 389 workers detained in a raid that federal officials called the largest criminal enforcement operation ever carried out by immigration authorities at a workplace.

Some residents were pleased by the ruling. Dennis Harrison, President of the Waterloo Kiwanis Club, described his joyous reaction to the court ruling. “I am so tired of undocumented immigrants coming into this country and using our hospitals and schools and water parks without paying any taxes,” Harrison exclaimed, “Thank the Lord I voted for that $10 million bond last election to use public monies to build the Waterloo high security jail—so that these illegals can be taught a lesson about taking my hard earned money!”

But not everyone was happy with the ruling.

Annabelle Gleason, the Special Events Coordinator for the City of Waterloo, was visually shaken by the decision. “Where am I supposed to to get 2,000 pounds of ballpark franks for our annual hot dog eating contest this Saturday with the plant is closed?,” she cried out "Mr. Stein would always give us such a great deal!" Gleason was forced to cancel the event.

Later than evening, an emergency meeting of the Waterloo City Council was called and leading officials brainstormed possible alternative contests to entertain the residents.

Councilmember Stevenson suggesting an apple bobbing contest or an Iowa three bean chili making contest, but then it was pointed out that most agricultural workers are undocumented.

Councilmember Gerry at one point exclaimed, "How about a pinata breaking cont. . .crap. . .please erase that from the record."

After hours of deliberation, the City Council finally settled on the one contest they could think of that did not involve illegal immigrants: a xeroxing contest to be held in the copy room in the back of City Hall.

"The person who can make perfectly centered, enlarged at 175%, double sided copies of all the contents in my wallet in the least number of tries will win a $50 gift certificate to Cracker Barrel Restaurant," explained Mayor Andy Johnson at the end of the meeting.

The announcement was met with loud boisterous cheering from members of the Administrative Assistants Association.

The City now has two days to prepare for the contest that will probably draw somewhere between 50-75 participants. When asked if he thinks the copy machine will be able to withstand such rigorous use, the copy machine maintenance worker commented, "No se, la maquina es muy viejo y pienso que la oficina va a necesitar a comprar mas tinta."