The American Well-Wishing Society
Join now and send your well-wishing through the mesosphere!
“We’re gonna give them so much well-wishing they won’t even know what to do with it.”
- Jay Stephens, founder of the American Well-Wishing Society
Founded in 1998, the American Well-Wishing Society, in conjunction with the US Department Foreign Affairs, is an organization that works hard to send well-wishing to places in need. Thet on most recent recipients of American well-wishing include victims of the Rwandan genocide, survivors of cyclones in Bangladesh, and a little boy who fell down a well last week in West Virginia.
Well-wishing was developed as an alternative to monetary foreign aid and US foreign policy during the Rwandan genocide of 1998. We were a small group at that time and while our well-wishing do not prevent 800,000 Rwandans from dying, we like to think that without our well-wishes perhaps a few 100,000 more Rwandans might have met their miserable end. Our current campaign is to send our well-wishes to people around the world, especially in Africa and Asia, who are infected with the AIDS virus.
For the Skeptics; Our Scientific Approach
“One should not underestimate the power of the well-wish,” cautions Mary Gretty, member of The American Well-Wishing Society, “ In fact, it was well-wishing alone that stopped the spread of communism in Eastern Europe! I remember vividly my parents and I kneeling in our nuclear bomb shelter in the 1950s, my hands clenched, eyes closed tightly, trying with all my heart to well-wish those communists to hell.”
Well-wishing has come a long way from the 1950s! While originally well-wishing required serious concentration and focus, we at the American Well-Wishing Society have worked hard to take the bor-ing out of well-wish-ing. The American Well-Wishing Society has developed a modern well-wishing technique, bringing together science and your good, hopeful thoughts to maximizing the potency of your very own well-wishes while minimizing the dreariness.
How does it work?
Members of the American Well-Wishing Society will be able to maximize the impact of their well-wishes without even taking your eyes off of your favorite television program with our new Well-Wishing Enhancer. Just put on your eco-friendly indigenously made Well-Wishing Enhancer and well-wish poverty, suffering, disease, and misfortune away!
How does the Well-Wishing Enhancer Work?
When used properly, the Well-Wishing Enhancer shoots your well-wishes on a parabolic trajectory. Your well wish reaches its apex a few miles above the mesosphere (approximately 100 km above the Earth’s surface). Any higher and your well-wish would float off into space! Your well-wish will then begin its speedy descent, allowing for maximum impact in the location of your choice.
What will my well-wishes look like?
Well-wishing often takes form as a brilliant ray of sunlight, a perfect rainbow, or sometimes as an Atomic bomb.
How do I join?
Just send a check for $250 made out to The American Well-Wishing Society.